No rest for the wicked tired

Memorial Day. The day we remember. Except when we forget. I've finally realized that I'm an adult and I'll tell you how I came to that conclusion. This past weekend was spent driving to another state to spend time with another persons family. Next weekend will be the same, except the state is further and the family is my own. The weekend after I will play host to a person I barely know (not a stranger mind you, just someone I'm not too familiar with). Following that, its back to the first state to visit the other family again.

I have not had a decent nights sleep in at least a week and that's not likely to change. I have not had nor will get any breaks or time to myself. Oh yeah and I am also playing nurse to a sick sexy lady. That part's not so bad except I look weird in the nurses outfit. I just don't have the thighs for it.

So enough complaining, there has to be some good stuff right? Right? Anyone? Dang.

By the way, my house is ridiculously hot and I don't know why. I'm currently auditioning hot island girls to stand near me and fan me with giant palm fronds. It doesn't pay much, nor are there any benefits to speak of. The only real benefits are that you get to see me lounging in my underwear with a half-melted Klondike bar dripping onto my bare chest. If that doesn't turn you on, check your pulse cause you might be dead.

Back in the saddle again…and the rash starts anew

    That's right, I know you missed me. All of my reader out there must have been distraught when I stopped posting. But Dave, why would you stop posting to your incredibly successful and popular blog? Two reasons. First, it was never that successful or popular. Second, I got a job. That's right, I joined the ranks of the gainfully employed. For the sake of the company's privacy, they shall remain unnamed, but I will give a hint. It's not a male strip club called The Third Leg.

    I even moved away from my beloved New York. I'm now living in a lovely little house on a lake in Assachusetts. Days are spent frolicking with squirrels and chasing geese on the water. Actually that's not true, my days are spent at a desk wearing a tie. You heard it right, a tie. Dave has officially sold out. I wear ties and suits and proper fancy shoes. I even wear socks and underwear almost every day.

    So what does all this mean for you, my darling reader? Nothing at all.

    As of yet, I have not been kidnapped and taken back to my adoring fans in central China, but its been a slow week. I do miss China though. I miss being famous only because I'm a big bearded white guy. That's not special here in New England. And speaking of New England, I had no idea there was even an Olde England, let alone a new one. Theres an accent here, but its not charming or sophisticated. People don't drink tea, they ride the T.

    Also, is it a coincidence that Mass Pike rhymes with Ass Spike? I don't think so. I think theres correlation there. Think about it.