This Is Like The Damn Yankees of Posts

Because it's just too easy, I thought I'd do some celebrity stories today. It makes me feel a bit cheap though, I mean they make it so easy . So I found a trio of news stories about celebrities and only two of them involve inappropriate sex. Also, ten points if you can figure out the reference in the title and post it.
Well lets get this one done quickly; John Travolta is accused of being gay again. He's being sued by a masseur for doing things that I don't want to put on this blog. Seriously, I warn you if you read the link, it gets graphic. Things I never wanted to picture, whether true or not, are now seared into my brains eye.

The whole "John Travolta being accused of being gay" thing is nothing new. Even if he is secretly gay, who give's a crap? I feel like this horse has been dead for a while and the world just keeps beating it. We all know that he and Tom Cruise are being blackmailed by Scientologists, who have evidence they're secretly married to eachother.
So moving on, remember that baby factory, Nadya Suleman? Of course you do, how could ever forget the surgically-endowed face like Angelina Jolie and the body that somehow carried 8 small humans without collapsing in on itself. Well, she's broke and doing porn.
I'm a little afraid to think about this frankly. Beyonce had 1 baby and got her ridiculous body back. Octo had. At once. I heard the eighth kid literally crawled out. There is no amount of horny or curious to get me to watch that porn. I already saw it. It was called The Lincoln Tunnel and it cost 4 bucks to get through.
And now I'd like to wrap on a high note. And a tall note. Shaquille O'Neal recently earned his Doctorate, proving once again that he is better than you. The thing that kills me is that it's not an honorary doctorate, he actually earned it. Granted it was attained online from Barry University (apparently not just a guy named Barry operating out of a van), but he has officially earned the right to correct people when they call him Mr. O'Neal.

That's Dr. O'Neal, actually