Brutally Efficient Robot Death Squads Return!

I did it again. And by that I mean I saw The Avengers again. It is a 2.5 hour long nerdgasm. But that's not why I'm here today. Today I bring some disturbing news. No, I'm not going to post more about John Travolta being sued, I think we've had enough of that.
Instead we travel to Peru for some reports of mass animal deaths. April was a terrible month for animals that call Peru home. Along the northern coast, 877 dolphins were found dead, having washed up on the beach, gotten drunk off Patron and Corona and passed out in the sand where they died from exposure. Shortly after, in the same area, an estimated 1,200 birds were found dead.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I've addressed mass animal deaths before. My conclusion then was that it was the work of brutally efficient robot death squads. My findings have not changed. However, I have two theories about why these mass animal deaths are occurring along the same stretch of coast. One is terrifying and the other is naive. Let's start with naivete.
We might be seeing a unified wildlife attack from air and sea. The animals appear to be attempting to gain a foothold along the northern Peruvian coastline in a order to launch a full-scale invasion of South America. I'm hoping that the brutally efficient robot death squads had sunk sea mines off the coast and the 877 dead dolphins represent the casualties from the initial incursion.
Having failed to invade by sea, the animals decided to soften up the land first with an air attack. However, once again the brutally efficient robot death squads protected us, this time with their anti-air lasers. A very large amount of the dead birds were pelicans, which we all know are the avian worlds heaviest bombers. I assume that it was a mixed force of smaller bombers as well as escort birds.

Exterminate Extra Crispy Style!

But more likely...
We are seeing a resurgence of brutally efficient robot death squad training maneuvers. The disturbing part is that it is now occurring in South America, leading me to believe that the brutally efficient robot death squad central leadership has expanded the scope of their ultimate invasion. They now intend on taking the entire Western Hemisphere in one massive invasion.
I have previously offered brutally efficient robot death squad insurance. In light of these new attacks, I am now expanding the scope of my insurance to include car and home insurance as well. Obviously, plans only protect against brutally efficient robot death squad attacks and we do prosecute for fraudulent claims. I am currently in litigation due to a former client claiming a brutally efficient robot death squad attack is what caused the water damage in his house. I can't say anymore as it is not my policy to discuss an ongoing investigation.