I Love Republicans

God I love Republicans. Not for their politics or their beliefs, but for the fact that they can't seem to go a week without saying or doing something horrible and ridiculous. Today we go out to Utah for this. Utah, the state known for Mormons and desert. Anyway GOP Presidential candidate Fred Karger has had some interesting correspondence lately.

We're here! We're Queer! We want to tax incentives for the top 1%!

Fred Karger is a rare creature. He's Republican, but he's also openly gay, two lifestyles that seem to clash with each other. Even in gay Republican circles he's a long shot though. Well he received an email from Nanette Billings, wife of Washington County Republican Party Chairman Willie Billings. Glossing past their ridiculous names, Mrs. Billings wrote to him to tell him he was a radical idiot and thank god he couldn't procreate.
When asked about this by Yahoo.coms Chris Moody, she responded by saying "my feeling is that the only reason he's running for president is to find more [sexual] partners". So according to Nanette, who is clearly a master of politics and not somebody with a stupid name, Fred Karger is running for president to get laid. I've gone to some pretty extreme lengths to get some action in my life, but I never considered running for president.
Here's a guy who has been involve in politics for more than 30 years, working on various successful presidential campaigns. I thought it was because he cared about this country and wanted to make it better. Now I find out he did it all to get himself some booty. Never have I been so disillusioned in American politics.
Suddenly, so many presidential terms make sense to me. What did Bill Clinton do in office, besides erase the national debt, cut unemployment, win a couple wars and make the saxaphone cool again? He got laid. And JFK, did he put a man on the moon? Nope, he just got laid.
So to recap, any gay Republican is only in politics to find men and Republicans are idiots. Any questions?