Oscar Sunday Come's Before Walter Monday

Well its Oscar Sunday and once again I'm not nominated for anything, despite my tear-jerking role in last years sleeper hit Dave to the Power of Drama. I played myself in a semi-autobiographical telling of the time I went to Space Camp and learned about gravity...and love. So instead I present you with the nominees for why I'm not watching the Oscars tonight.

• I'm Bitter About the Aforementioned Oscar Snub
• There's A Repeat of The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror 
• I'd Rather Play Video Games
• I Just Don't Care
• In Soviet Russia, Oscars Watch You!

And the winner is, drumroll please, I Just Don't Care! This is the third nomination and the first win for I Just Don't Care. Accepting the award on behalf of I Just Don't Care is Mr. Tony Danza.

Seriously though, I saw none of the nominees for Best Picture, nor do I have any interest in seeing them. First off, I think it's a terrible idea to have so many nominees. Its like giving everybody a trophy for participation. Second, I could not possibly be less interested in The Artist. I don't mind black and white, but I don't want to read a movie. Besides, its French and its got dancing, two of my least favorite things. 

Instead I bring you good news out of Nepal. Everybody's favorite tiny dude, Chandra Bahadur Dangi has officially been declared the worlds shortest man at 21.5 inches. But it gets better, for him at least. He has also been declared the shortest man ever measured. Granted, these measurements haven't been taken for very long, but its still impressive. So here's to you Chandra Bahadur Dangi. 

He has two more certificates than me