This is gonna be a long night. Earlier on, my good lady wife and I went to a local bbq joint called Fireflys. I ordered the pulled pork platter, cause well its a platter of pulled pork why wouldn't I order it? What arrived at the table was a plate covered with pulled pork, mac and cheese, and rice and beans. I made sure to breath between bites, but it wasn't long before all that delicious flavor was inside me. My stomach! It was inside my stomach you perverts. Anyway, my good lady wife and I debated about ordering dessert. Fresh apple pie was on the menu but I for one was incredibly full. The arrival of a party of 17 (seriously) kids and parents helped us decide.
So now I sit with all that flavor working its way through me. Basically, my digestive system has rebelled against me. Make no mistake, this meal was insanely delicious and I intend on going back, much to the chagrin of my bowels. Honestly, I would recommend this place to anyone, cause it was amazing. But my stomach isn't what it used to be. Time was I could eat half my body weight in ribs and fried pickles before consuming the other half of my body weight in cheesecake, all accompanied by an 18 year old scotch and followed by a vigorous session of welding and carpentry.
Now I'm afraid to be more then 8 inches from the toilet. No, I'm not writing this in the bathroom, but I probably could be. Now my stomach is weak and frail. For gods sake I had a salad for lunch. What happened to me? It should be this weakness that is making me nauseous, not the amazing food I ate. I honestly fear that I might start horg-gorging at any minute.
I need some ginger ale and pepto S.T.A.T.
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