Walter Monday At Last

Its Walter Monday! Yes I just made that up last night in response to Oscar Sunday. The Artist won big which I would care about if I was into silent movies, black and white movies, French movies or getting punched repeatedly in the crotch. Did I watch? No, of course not I played video games.
More importantly, Ukranian security forces have foiled a plot to assassinate Vladimir Putin. Chechen warlord Doku Umarov had planned on killing Putin in Moscow after this coming Sundays presidential election. First of all, I want you to re-read that last sentence and let the innate awesomeness of it sink in.
Back with me? Good. I'm going to point out the one major flaw of Count Doku's plan. He tried to kill Vladimir Putin, the baddest ass Russian since Zangief and The Black Widow had a fictional baby. Putin can't be shot, and not because he can dodge bullets. He doesn't have to dodge bullets, bullets dodge him. Bombs won't work because we all know badasses never look at explosions which will keep him safe for some reason. Can't stab Putin for a reason I haven't made up yet.
Possibly most foolish of all is that the plan was to kill Puty-Put on his home turf. Seriously Count Doku, don't you realize that he probably has guns and samurai swords hidden all over Moscow? Have you forgotten that he was head of the KGB? Hell, he probably has an umbrella that shoots ricin pellets. The point that I'm trying to make is that Vladimir Putin is too much of a badass to assassinate. He will only die when the planets align and produce a cosmic energy beam powerful enough to rip the fabric of reality long enough to make him mortal.
While I'm writing about actual current news, I want to share the Huffington Posts headline from today regarding the upcoming Republican debate in Michigan.

Its 99 Cent vs Middle-Age Dirty Bastard

I'm going to take a lunch break and come up with a list of alternate headlines. Hopefully I'll remember to share them with you.