All This Pimping Is Aggravating Me

So lets see whats in the news today. I'd like to write about the Taco-copter but its not Tuesday, even though its the most brilliant idea, perhaps ever. Instead I bring you news out of France about, who else, Dominique Strauss-Kahn or DSK as he's otherwise known. I prefer DSK since its easier to type. Also, it sounds like a serial killer nickname.
Anyway, on Monday DSK was officially warned that he's under investigation for "aggravated pimping". There are several things about that sentence that I want to mock, so I'll do it in order. First, he hasn't been charged yet, only warned that he might be charged. I like how the French justice system works. They don't seem to arrest people, only give them warnings. I imagine theives get stopped and scolded by effeminate cops.

"Tsk tsk you naughty boy" - Translated from French

More entertaining is the charge he might be arrested for; aggravated pimping. That sounds a lot like an pimp who got very annoyed at something, perhaps a bitch not breaking herself (actual pimp term). He's not angry yet, but he's getting there. He's warning her that "DSK might have to choke a bitch", but he's a pimp with a heart of gold. Also a chalice of gold. And because its France, that chalice is filled with Chateau le Chien 1982. A good year for wine and pimping.
What does a French pimp drive? Does he scoot around on a tricked out Vespa? Perhaps the real question here is, how is anyone surprised? Forget about the whole attempted rape of hotel maid in NY or the attempted rape of a journalist in France. DSK has admitted to attending high-class sex parties that may or may not have involved prostitutes.
It's probably a good thing that he stepped down from the IMF job before he started funneling money to pay for top quality whores. It is too bad that he had to pull out of his bid for president of France. He would have been in good company with Silvio Berlusconi. They would have definitely had a special relationship.
Here's something I learned from all this. In France, prostitution is legal, but profiting from the prostitution of another is not. So they have hookers but no pimps. Ice-T would be horrified. I'd also like to point out that the initials DSK makes me think of Donkey Kong and wonder what kind of pimp he'd make. You DO NOT want him to have to choke a bitch.

That ain't a banana in his pocket