Too Awesome To Think of a Joke Title

Well today I bring you some news that is as awesome as it is incredible. No, I'm not talking about the recent announcement of the Anchorman sequel. Instead I bring you a story that has previously only existed in my eighth grade math notebook. I bring you a totally unverified story out of Paradise, California. More than unverified, unverifiable.
On Monday morning Robert Biggs of the egotistically named city reported being attacked by a mountain lion, only to be saved by a bear. Give that a minute to sink in. Ok, back with me? Good. Bobby Biggs, as I like to call him, was hiking in the woods when he came across a mama bear and her cubs. To his credit he stayed about 40 feet away and just watched the presumably adorable scene.
To his surprise, while he was wiping away tears of cuteness a freaking mountain lion jumped on his backpack. He claims the backpack was just in the right place. I say that the mountain lion was trying to get at the ooey gooey chewey chocolate chip sirloin in his pack. Either way, he's lucky that the damn thing mistook his L.L. Bean pack for his head.
While he was flailing wildly and screaming (I assume) the mama bear approached and smacked the crap out the mountain lion. The two awesome killer machine beasts battled for a little bit, the mountain lion using Judo and the mama bear ironically using tiger style Kung Fu. The mountain lion knew it was defeated when the mama bear did a jumping spin kick that totally rocked its world, surrendering and running off.

But Mama Bears throat punch was juuuuust right

The mama bear then turned to Bobby-Boy, thumped her chest twice and held up a peace sign, nodding at the same time. She turned and walked back to her babies, possibly while an explosion took place behind her. She did not look at the explosion. She's clearly too badass.
Bobby went home to his very alarmed wife with only a few bruises, scratches, bite marks, and a missing head. Ok, he kept his head...somehow. Anyway, he refused to go to the hospital, reasoning that tetanus shot he had gotten a couple years ago would be enough. So far he's right.
I'm at a loss to decide which of the participants is more badass. The mama bear for, well being a bear. Or Bobbo Biggs for just walking off the attack. The last time I got scratched by a housecat, I cried for 20 minutes and had to be consoled with ice cream and being gently rocked to sleep by my mom. Or my wow as I call her.