It's Not Bald, It's Just Thinning A Bit On Top

If you're reading this, then you must be as bored as I am and I appreciate that. I've taken a couple days off to play an absurd amount of video games and visit some family. Ok, mostly play video games. But its a really good game that's not named Mass Effect 3. I'm not going to waste a lot of space going into why Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning is so awesome. Just trust me. I will say this about the game though, you should thank the people of Rhode Island for agreeing to finance it.
Instead I bring you news from Americas heartland, the pointless state that is Wyoming. The US Fish and Wildlife Service recently granted the Northern Arapaho Tribe a permit to kill or capture two bald eagles this year. They say its for the purposes of a religious ceremony but are mum on why they need to kill the birds.
This is a huge symbolic victory for all Native Americans. They will be able to kill the symbol of the very country that forced them off their native lands and onto depressing reservations. This actually brings to mind an interesting conundrum. If reservations are considered sovereign territory (at least enough so to legally build hugely successful casinos), then why does the tribe need permission from the federal government in the first place?
It's still unclear what the eagles are to be used for. I can think of a few applications that are completely horrible and in bad taste. So here are a few:

• Best Buffalo wings ever
• Eat the eagles to gain their powers, assuming that bald eagles have powers. 
• Strap saddles on them and give them to the tribes children to ride
• Attempt to weave eagle toupees 
• Two words: Eagle Jousting

In my opinion, the most interesting thing is the politics involved with obtaining this permit. The Northern Arapaho Tribe is well liked in the tribal community (don't check on this) and was able to charm the Fish and Wildlife Service. The Southern Arapaho Tribe would never have been able to obtain this permit. It is well known that the Southern Arapahos are jerks, assuming they even exist. Look, I'll be honest, I know very little about Native American tribes. I know enough to do an offensive caricature impression of an average tribe member. 

I do know that this is an offensive name and logo, and not
just because they suck.

Honestly, these people live in our own backyards (metaphorically speaking) and most people know nothing about them. They lived here first, they formed complex societies and yet now they exist only on offensive team names. We think of Native Americans as casino owners with alcohol problems. I have no doubt that there will be some form of public outrage at the Northern Arapaho Tribe. Are we trying to protect the symbol of our liberty? Or are we trying to further subjugate a beaten people by forbidding their traditions? 

This post turned heavy pretty quickly. I didn't think I had an opinion on this beyond sarcasm, but I was wrong. If anyone would like to learn more about the complexity of Native American history, try reading 1491: New Revelations of the Americas Before Columbus.