I Can't Think Of A Title

Part 3, profiling Newt Gingrich will be coming tomorrow. I think today is the perfect opportunity to write about my love for women. It's International Women's Day everywhere except Rick Santorum's Campaign tour bus. This is the day we celebrate women. They get one day a year, two if you count Valentines Day. The rest of the year, its business as normal, barefoot, pregnant and baking something.

She'd better not be wearing shoes

I have a bit of a non-traditional relationship with my good lady wife. She has an awesome job where she wins a lot of bread and brings home a lot of bacon. This allows my unemployed ass to spend my time applying for jobs that I'll never get, write for you, and take care of the house. So in honor of this arrangement, I am currently barefoot with cupcakes in the oven. I'm not pregnant but god knows I'm trying. I'll be a great mom.
Truth be told, I'm completely ok with this. I've learned that I can cook. I got excited at the purchase of a Swiffer. My good lady wife comes home after a long day hunting buffalo or whatever she does, and a gourmet style dinner is on the table. I sometimes surprise her by cooking in only an apron, ass tattoo proudly displayed to the world. Her drawers are always full of fresh clean folded clothes and the dog gets walked constantly.
I think on this International Women's Day, I should be the one celebrated in this household. In fact, I'm gonna start celebrating now by putting on Lifetime and watching a movie starring Valerie Bertinelli. Or maybe Say Yes To The Dress.