Regular Monday

I just heard about this thing called Super Tuesday. So I got out my cape and put my underwear over my pants in preparation. I was halfway through sewing a big D on a shirt when my good lady wife told me it was about politics, not Supermans birthday. That hurt but I still love her. I decided to look into this Tuesday that is apparently superior to other Tuesdays.
I learned that there are these four guys that want to run against Barack Obama for president. Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul all want to be the leader of the free world. I meditated on each of these candidates for upwards of 3 minutes. This resulted in my mind being blasted 3 years into a quantum future, each one dependent on the victory of a different candidate.
So I present you with the first in 4 part series examining what life would be like if each candidate not only won the nomination, but also the presidency.

Part 1 of 4: Mitt Romney
First I need to get this out of the way. His name is Mitt. I don't know what this is supposed to be short for. Maybe his parents were big baseball fans. Also I'm pretty sure they might be named Glove and Gauntlet (get it?)
Ahem, moving on. I take you to the future, all the way to the year 2015. Mitt Romney is president. Futurama has once again been canceled and then brought back by popular demand. The world is a different place. The rest of the United States has gone the way of Massachusetts. National emergencies are called for mild rain and the most popular names for newborns are Sully and Mary.
Obamacare has failed miserably, being replaced with the nearly identical Romneycare. As a nation, America is extremely rich, among the top 1% of the worlds richest nations. Despite our extreme wealth, we are somehow resented by the rest of the world, led by Americas newest enemy, Canada. After centuries of being totally cool, Canada got sick of constantly being compared to Ned Flanders and closed the borders. The first US-Canada war was less than 3 years away.

This means war-diddily-ar!

Communism made a short comeback, toppling several regimes in Southeast Asia. However President Romney quickly quelled the problem by buying the affected countries before it could go any further. Having prevented the Domino Theory from succeeding, President Romney's popularity is surging enough for him to introduce the RomneyCar, a purposely energy-inefficient vehicle designed by the finest car making minds Europe has to buy. Unfortunately, the RomneyCar is deemed a failure due to its poor sales. History will remember it as the most expensive Camry ripoff ever.
Following the trend in Massachusetts, Dunkin Donuts is declared to official beverage of the United States. Starbucks has been bought out by Dunks and there are Shaws located everywhere. Walmart was declared a monopoly under the Sherman Anti-trust Act. Many believe this to have been manipulated by Romney in an effort to further conquer his enemies. Rumors abound that he is saving to buy Russia from Putin.
There is no more middle class as you're either rich or homeless. And if you're homeless, you're really homeless. You not only have no place to live or a job, you're deep in debt. But at least there's a Dunkin' Donuts on every corner and two garages on the Mitt Romneys even bigger version of the White House.