Death From The Deep!

Well it's official, the endtimes are upon us and it will come from the sea. If you're a regular reader, which I sincerely hope you are, you might remember last weeks story of a gigantic great white shark caught in the Gulf of Mexico or the plague of armored catfish in South Florida. Today's story is no less terrifying, though it is considerably more delicious.
Fisherman from South Carolina to Texas are reporting increasing numbers of Asian Tiger Shrimp. That doesn't sound too bad, except for the fact that these monsters are cannibals. That's right, giant cannibalistic shrimp are invading our coasts. I bet you're wondering how big these guys are, after all they're still called shrimp. Well, they grow up to 13 inches long, which is big enough to stuff them with crabmeat and breading before baking them.

I know it's a harmful invasive species, but damn that looks tasty

Of course, us humans have nothing to fear from these beasts. I mean, they're still shrimp. But other shrimp are in big trouble. It would be equivalent to thousands of 30 foot tall people landing on our shores and eating us. I'm sure we'd care then.
These monsters are indigenous to Asia and Australia, so how did they find their way to Texas? Well, in 1999 about 2,000 of them were being raised in a shrimp farm in South Carolina when they were accidentally released into the wild. Combine that with the fact that females lay between 50,000 and a million eggs, and you have a crap ton of huge shrimp.
So what is to be done about these tasty monsters from the deep? So far, the answer is very boring. Scientists at NOAA (National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration) want to further research the beasts to determine what impact, if any, they will have on our ecosystem. Who will save us from this new threat from the sea?

This man is our only hope